Again.

Sometimes you stop doing things just because...
Maybe you don`t have a reason, or maybe the one you have for not doing it is stronger than your passion.
I stopped writing a while ago. Not that I don`t do it anymore; but sometimes it approaches a different raimbow.
And I`ve been thinking where am I...
When the things I love don`t fulfill me anymore I wonder where is the meaning of passion and innerpeace...
But I guess sometimes you have to struggle to understand from what side of the sidewalk rain falls more accurate, and that doesn`t bother your feet.
I guess that you have to become numb to actually feel on a different perspective without losing your first appreciation.
And I don`t even know why I`m writing this in english...
Bottom line is that I almost forgot how words actually make me feel alive; like on saturday, being one of those days when I remembered my real name and my natural hair color; when back in time I used to feel the unforgiven and not care at all if it was revealed or not.
But growing up makes you be aware, and is not so fun anymore.
Anyhow it feels good to go back to your roots sometimes...
To laugh when nobody cares and if they do you just travel in emotion with motion and forget about what you just felt, and starts laughing in hierarchy again.
On Saturday I remembered who I was. That means that I might be losing who I`ve become too...but that`s ok...
You don`t have to know everything at a time... (present has taught me that in its own little ironic way)...
Cardinal was read...and my face went blank when it came to my mind that I wrote it...that it breathes on its own, with his name and his nose...even if right now that doesn`t make any sense to actual circumstances...

Life must be one of the seven wonders of the world...I must add...
and I shouldn`t corrupt myself any longer...
I need to feel alive again...
Any suggestions?

Signs and maps are not doing anything for me...
Let`s see where all of this train goes...


MT//

/mood: melancholic.
/listening to: Billy Joel- Vienna.mp3